If you are interested in reading an exciting news story about an entertaining blockbuster coming to theaters December 17th, you would be better off reading something else. The Daily Punctilio is saddened and horrified to report that the villainous performer Count Olaf has announced his candidacy for
President…of All Actors Everywhere.
Count Olaf made the announcement at www.countolaf.com, his highly revolting vanity website. Links in Count Olaf’s message on the homepage abduct visitors to a campaign section featuring ugly campaign materials, startling propaganda, shocking position statements by villainous associates, and dozens of bold lies, veiled threats, and poorly lit photographs. In an especially alarming display of treachery, www.countolaf.com now also includes a movie trailer that Count Olaf has edited himself. According to one volunteer and theater critic, it’s “really awful.”
The Snicket Report will continue to report breaking news regarding the activities of Count Olaf, the Baudelaire orphans, and Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, but experts agree that none of those activities are likely to include finger-painting, if you prefer that sort of thing.
